The One on Truthfulness

Trust and truth are to hard issues for me, for many reasons. The main reason being is that for years I have not been an honest person. I would tell lies, but not as often as one would think. My dishonest came in the form of deceit, hiding things from people for fear of being hurt – which in no way excuses the manner.

Now, the thing of truth is, it should not be used to go around telling everyone their faults. Truth comes from honesty, not trying to make yourself better then everyone else. If a friend struggles in a certain area you can lovingly help them with it, but do not simply go around pointing out every little thing they do wrong and stick the word truth on it. That is not how God intended we build others up, that is how we tare down and discourage them. Try and look for things they do right and congratulate them – and do not stick on a fault when you are pointing out a good quality.

If a friend is struggling in a certain area, with temper let's say, do not go around saying things like, “There, you did it again, went and lost your temper! When will you ever learn?” Try something else instead. If they are Christians they already feel bad about it most likely, so lovingly confront them.

“I saw you got upset again, is there anything I can do to help? Maybe we can study some verses together, or if you ever feel like you are getting upset you can come and talk to me about it. Also remember God forgives you every time you fall and will help you to do better again.”

But now, back to truth. Friends will hurt you. You are human, they are human, you will hurt them and they will you. One thing Katie and I have learned about hurt is that when one of us is hurt by the other we would not talk about it. We would bottle up and let it build until it was worse. However, we learned that if we went to the other when they had done something hurtful and talked it out the problem was solved swiftly and we were closer then ever before.

I shall never forget the day, er night, when I was half asleep and not feeling well. I had been trying to talk to Katie all night but she was silent for no reason in particular. Well, it was finally bed time, I was irritable and wanting sleep and, just before I said goodnight, Katie opened up with a problem. In annoyance I said something unkind and soon after when to bed thinking nothing on it. It was not until the next morning that Katie confronted me on it and simply told me my sharp words had hurt her. I knew they had and was sorry for them, yet at the same time I was happy, knowing that Katie had been able to come to me and tell me I had hurt her rather then sulking all day and leaving me guessing.

Truth telling saves time, further hurts, and a deal of trouble, it can also save friendships. If you were hurt, go to your friend and talk it over, letting her have her say as well as you yours. Work it all out, learn from it, and move on, not to dwell on it longer. Also, be the kind of person willing to listen so that she can come to you when she is feeling hurt. If you do this your friendship will grow, and not lessen.