Why Do Friendships Seem Unimportant in the Teen World? Part One

This is the first chapter of my new book, Two Are Better Than One
~ Katie

"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband."
1 Corinthians 7:34b


I was listening to a song by one of my favorite pop stars the other day when it hit me: just about every song, every book, and every TV show geared for teens are about dating. Most of the books for younger kids have sweet stories about best friends in them, but it seems to me that once we get to be teens all of those nice stories go away, and we’re fed a bunch of stories about how we “need” boy friends, and how we’ll be happier with them.
Another song by the same pop star tells the story of a fifteen year old girl and her first boy friend. Part of the song says how all she wanted was to be wanted. Now this I can relate to -I’ve been there. I wanted to know I was loved and appreciated by someone - a peer, not in my family. I don’t know why, but I even added that into my 2008 NaNoWriMo novel.
The story is about a young girl who wants desperately to be loved, but thinks it could never happen. In the end, she realizes that her friend, Emeric, does love her, and they are engaged (of course!). Among my friends I’m known as the romantic. I think wanting to be loved is just a natural feeling. We want someone who can relate to what we’re going through; someone who, we’ve had an awful day, will lend a shoulder to cry on and assure us that things will get better; someone who will be with us through thick and thin, and never stop loving us. However, I’ve learned that we don’t need boy friends to be loved and supported.
There are two people I know I can always count on to support me, encourage me, and love me: my best friend, Molly; and my “older sister,” Heather. Being my cousin, Molly has been there for me since I was a baby, so maybe she’s not the best example. I’ve only known Heather two years, though.
She’s seven years older than me, and yet she has never been unsupportive, never told me “oh you’re too little to do that,” never ceased to love me. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve come crying to her, or how many times she’s cheered me up - told me everything will be fine, and set me on my feet again. We don’t need boy friends to be happy - especially not when we’re so young.
I’ve never dated, and I don’t plan on doing it any time soon, but my mom did, and she says she wishes she hadn’t started so soon, because it distracted her from what was important. Do we really need that? Do we really want that? I think what we really need is good friends - real friends.